GUTTED
got £295 left of my roll. i'm going to play low for awhile now. had £3590 at start of the day, went on to 10/20ish 4 tables min. buy-ins determined to play my best and played appaulingly. i tilted, lost a few coin flips, don't think there were many/any suckouts for me or against. when i said gg and sat out like 2 people sat out and left immediately after. i am such a fish =(
*later edit* i put isa back in and withdrew it in between this and the last post.
*later edit* i put isa back in and withdrew it in between this and the last post.
posted by Ed Hollis at 5:30 PM
30 Comments:
If Ed's parent's are reading this.. Get Ed some help!! He's a sick boy!
Ed,
I know you don't know me and I don't really know you but please consider the following thought:
Please let one of your closest friends or relatives read your blog, if you don't get some help very soon I'm afraid you might really snap or go totally broke in the very near future.
You seem like a very nice guy, I wish you the best of luck.
This isn't much fun to read anymore. Get out now please.
Look i dont know you Ed but you just really need to stop playing for a while. You seem relly upset by what is after happening. Ure in no frame of mind to play well at the moment. Stop playing for a bit and come back fresh to it.
I wish you the best of luck
Ed,
Been reading your blog for a while now in the hope that you are going to turn the corner and maybe work up a bit of a bankroll again.
I've never played against you online as the limits you play are a little beyond my bankroll. Problem you now seem to have is that people know who you are online and will actively seek you out on the cash tables. From reading your blog they'll have a good idea of your style of play and use that to their advantage. I agree with alot of previous posters in that i think your natural aggression at the table is a positive part of your game but just needs reigning in a bit.
One suggestion i've got to make which you may well have already considered; have you thought about changing your online poker alias so people can't seek you out on the cash tables?
Anyway, i wish you all the best as you seem like a nice guy.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This is a done deal.
You have NO future in poker, based on what I've read, especially what UK Gatsby just wrote.
Going all i n with Q 5 offsuit...
Cmon. Its over.
GET OUT OF POKER NOW.
don't give up !
it sounds like your parents are minted
get them to stake you £10k
Not going to kick u when you are down, but UK G is talking sense.
You are showing all the traits of an addicted gambler, often you even admit to this, but the addicted gambler is born to lose - he actually wants to and does everything he can to do this.. Not going to start quoting Freud and Dostoevsky but you should read them, your nature is to lose every last penny and it is getting to the borrow or quit point. I respect anyone who has done what you have done, and it has been a great journey. I really think that your game can only manifest itself in you getting into serious trouble and i don't wish this on anyone. You cannot afford to continue - so live your life, get a job etc etc.
Hey there, the honesty of your blog is very impressive. good to **meet** you. I just about manage my online poker addiction, losses almost within what i can afford. but it's not about that really. couple of times last year i went without broadband for over a week. life was so much better. sure, i flipped at first, but felt really free of the sick self-loathing. saw friends, had energy, hung out with my husband. it was great... try it ;-)
very best,
x mglum
Hope you ok. Dont have msn on this machine so will post here.
Car crash scenes last night. ThinGs had ticked over nicely the previous night on the first night we were talking on msn and watching table.
Upto 9k and withdrawing 6k Isa money and using rest as roll seemed like a successful 1st day watching you. Couple of nice plays and no real danger
Last night was just awful
Both of us tried to talk you into quitting. Just glad you took advice to bank isa as that would have gone too.
If you decide to spin that up next then it will be gone by the weekend. I dont want to sound like a broken record so will only say it 1 more time. Cant watch someone self destruct like that.
Get a job, learn respect for money and play as a hobby or quit.
If i went ott last night then sorry but couldnt watch that and you wouldnt have listened to anyone in the world. Nothing was going to make you quit last night until it was all gone.
Playing solid poker and getting outdrawn or outplayed is one thing. Trying to take on established players who have 100x the buy in and calling preflop all ins for all your stack with Q5o is just crazy
If this post makes me sound a * Git * (i had posted C word instead on previous post but deleted and reprinted) then so be it. If if saves you losing again then its worth it.
Must have told you to quit or at least drop down 100 times last night but you get a buzz from the big game. Thats why you wont be happy at £0.15 / £0.25. Its all about the fix
If you ever fancy a chat about footy , etc then give me a shout but high stakes poker is a no no.
Please learn last nights lesson, Get off the slippery slope now. You have your ISA , you living at home and have no debt. I call that breaking even. Talk to your parents, review your situation and either get yourself to college or get a job.
If you dont then you will never get out of this rut and gambling disease will take over . At this point in your life you have the chance to put things right.
If ever i encouraged you or wished you luck i done so because i hoped you would be successful again but after watching you self destruct last night whilst we on msn almost begging you to quit i hope you will admit that its just not going to happen.
Because i think youre a decent bloke im posting above. If it offends then sorry but need to be said.
Good luck for the future. Just make sure that future has fuck all to do with poker.
Above post is what i had posted earlier almost word for word. (the deleted by author bit)
Only difference is i had used C word and decided to redo it.
Borrow some money. Its fun.
Hi
Right this needs to be said, you wont listen but i will say anyway.
10 year ago i was married with 2 kids both under 4 years old. I had a house 2 cars a family and a good job.
I LOST EVERYTHING PLAYING POKER DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW!!!!
I now live in a 1 bedrrom flat, i see my kids once a week if i am lucky. I work at Wallmart stacking shelves. And i don't play poker.
Learn from the remains of my shattered life.......poker will never make you happy, even if you win the WSOP you will still want more.
get a job, a girlfriend, and enjoy yourself. You don't know what you have untill your sat in a smelly flat posting a blog to try and save some one from making the same mistake you did!
PLEASE TAKE IN MY ADVICE, IF NOT FOR YOURSELF THEN FOR EVERYONE WHO LOVES YOU!
Take care all.
Mate you need to learn to beat £25 before you can play these levels. Wise up!
Seriously I shouldn't rubbish you. I play micro stakes (NL£50) and often make poor calls and rubbish moves but at the end of the month I usually have (slightly) more money than I started with.
Saying you get 'bored' at low level is a clear indication that you are addicted to gambooling. Poker is a grind. A really good player wont get 'bored' at playing a lower level than they usually play.
Are you good enough to beat £25NL???
Hi Edd,
I've read your blog for some weeks and it is an interesting read. Interesting in the fact that you have actually kept going for so long?
Massive amounts of money has been lost but most of it is unaccounted for on your blog.
There are so many gaps in the amount of money you are actually playing for compared to the money you win.
Now as a fulltime poker player myself I can account for all my incomings and outgoings when it comes to my gaming. This was learned when I was knee high to a grasshopper and had a gambling addiction (horses mainly) where I used to work all week, get paid on a friday at 5pm and then spend it all by 6pm.
I began to realise that the hard graft I did through the week was all for a one hour buzz. After a few months of this and the hardships it brought it has made me a stronger, more prudent person.
I'm 100% certain that the figures you are talking about are complete and utter bollox. Not on your losses and gains but your loan equity. The figures just don't add up. Its good for the blog to see your swings but it's not as good to show the amount you've had to loan to foot the bill. Amazingly you are broke one day and then 4k turns up that you make up to 40k then lose the lot on a bluff. Next day some more money turns up out of the magic ISA.
Now, I don't want to go down the route of telling you how stupid you have been because you have never had to work for that money anyway - if you had then your outlook would have been totally different, but you haven't so the test is how you move on from this moment.
I keep a check on my gambling by each month putting a small amount into my account each month i.e. 50 dollars. The challenge is making that money into at least 1k. Fair enough not high stakes but it takes both skill and time to get this to my target. Some months I succeed and some I fail, but I will only ever rebuy for the $50 once during that month.
Last month I dragged $5k dollars from my initial $50 and the month previous nearer $2K. The reason I always drag my money out and not keep it in my bankroll is to stop me getting above my station and fighting above my weight. If I lose I never lose big. On the strength of my wins I'm off to travel the world again for the 1st time in 10 years.
Theres more to poker than fighting the multi millionaires or poker elite. Its called winning enough to make you happy.
Winnie, you say you are a full time poker player and you only deposit $50 a month and only ever rebuy another $50 once? Sorry, but it seems you are the one talking bollox. And if you're not, you miss out on a lot of deposit bonuses. Have you never started out with a losing streak of my than $100? You must either be very lucky or playing micro-micro stakes at the start of every month. Very strange.
hey ed, hope all good. listen to these guys they talking sense. anyways gl. if ya wanna read other exploits in poker, read my blog:
http://www.pokermoneymakingmachine.blogspot.com/
he's playing £25/£50 now.
Well he did say that he was going to be playing low for a while :-)
how did he do?
how did he do?
whats his username
i think he left with about £1k, so it can't be that good, as that's the min buy in.
no fukin way. man he should stop that shit before he regrets it. whats his username, so i can rail him. i been reading his blog for months but never watched him (€dont worry i wont stack him, i dont play higher than 1/2 lol)
bring back observer chat!
Funny hand - NL£10/£20 Bluescouse is on the button, it's folded around to him so he tries to steal the blinds by raising to £80 with 85o. But the button (who has 82o)reraises to £280ish. Bluescouse calls (leaving him only about £700 left) to see a dream flop of 85x. The big blind bets £500 so they end up all in with Bluescouse scooping a £2kish pot. It shows how loose they think he is. His raises, even on the flop are often called by just middle pair. Considering his image, I think he plays just a bit too loose, and often way too loose for a short stack. I mean, calling off a quarter of your chips with 85o can't possibly be a +ve move can it? I don't know maybe it can at clever hih stakes games, but I doubt it.
You just told someone you are £1k up since the last post. You must've had some luck I didn't see as you dropped about £1200 since I started watching 10/20 and you didn't win at 25/50.
So I take it you are playing on your ISA savings? Or are you on a loan?
wow drpill, there aint half some fish at 10/20!
i should have responded earlier. many comments now. my parents read the blog sometimes and they actually asked me today if i should get help?!! =(
i'm not going to quit just yet. i was quite low when i wrote this last post but i feel a bit better now.
i have considered a different alias but i'd like to try and win on bluescouse. it is a good idea though and may consider it if things go worse.
i really can't do without poker atm, i think i'm realising i'm addicted, it's just upto me that i apply my mind, and let my addiction not get in the way of me playing good poker and winning.
all i say is 100% truth, i may have missed out a day or two's play but when i say bankroll and details, i never lie.
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